It has become commonplace for sub-Saharan African nationals to travel to Libya and work as farmers, street cleaners or cross-border smugglers to earn their fare on one of the ‘death’ boats heading to Europe.

It has become commonplace for sub-Saharan African nationals to travel to Libya and work as farmers, street cleaners or cross-border smugglers to earn their fare on one of the ‘death’ boats heading to Europe.

Thirty-four-year-old Ahmad Adam Ourinija, from the Central African Republic also dreamt of a better life in Europe, but he got sidetracked when he met 30-year-old Ruqaia, a history teacher from the town of Traghin (140 km south of Sabha).  They fell in love and dreamt of marriage although they knew neither her parents nor the local community would approve.

So they decided to escape to Qatrun, 500 kilometers south of Sabha, where they married with the help of some of Ruqaia’s acquaintances and prepared to travel back to Central Africa.

Each of the newlyweds spoke to Correspondents about the unusual union:

Ahmad, how and why did you come to Libya?

I came through the help of smugglers via Chad. I entered Libya in 2011 and headed straight to Traghin where I knew some friends who work there. I came from Cangabandoro, a village in Vakaga district, where I was a farm worker with my father and brothers. When many of the young men in our village began migrating to Europe, due to the worsening economic situation and the state of insecurity experienced across the country, I decided to try my luck and go to Libya, never to return to my native country.

You are, however, preparing to return to Central Africa. What has motivated you to change your plans?

My wife has convinced me to return to my country with her. We thought about living in Libya, but it is impossible due to the rejection of our marriage by society.  In addition, my wife convinced me that there were many projects by which we could earn a decent living.

Ruqaia, how did you get to know Ahmad?

Ahmad worked at my father’s farm. We went to the farm together every day with my family. He used to come to our house on several occasions especially during feasts and holidays. Libyans allow African workers to visit them and talk to their women although such encounters clash with their conservative nature.

I was the only member in our family interested in learning French. Ahmad and I had long conversations together and I seized any opportunity to note down and memorize the new words. That learning journey lasted from 2011 to 2014.

I did not notice that my relationship with Ahmad had grown deeper. Nevertheless, none of my family noticed since we spoke French in their presence. We used to meet secretly and a beautiful relationship developed between us.  

How did you reach the decision to marry?

That came after we were sure about our feelings towards each other. Ahmad bravely asked me to marry him. He offered to propose to me directly through my father. I agreed to the marriage preposal without the slightest hesitation, but I cautioned him against telling my father.

 I thought about breaking the news to a close relative, but I realized that I would not find any one to stand by my side no matter how understanding he might be.

What did you do to continue your marriage plan to Ahmad?

I asked Ahmad to travel to Qatrun so that he could avoid my parents’ anger, should they refuse the idea of marriage. He refused to go and stayed there away from public view.

(Here, Ahmad commented that he stayed close so that he would protect her in case she was at risk)

Once I told my parents, my father beat me harshly. He angrily moved from one room to the other looking for anything to hit me with. The closest thing to him was an electric wire with which he beat me with full force. My mother just watched. I recall that she cried and said to me reproachfully, “Why, my daughter! We are giving you all that you need. Why are you doing this to us?”

 After the beating, my father threatened that he would kill me if I ever brought up the subject again. Of course, I was determined to go ahead with my decision. I called Ahmad and asked him to go to Qatrun. Seven days later, I escaped through the help of a friend and her husband.

Libyan women do not usually speak to their parents about marriage. Why did not you pave the ground for that subject with your mother, for example?

I knew the response in advance. What I did was a message to my parents that I did not make a mistake and that I frankly brought up the subject with them before making any decision. My parents’ rejection was because he was African, which had not been convincing. Had their refusal been due to ethical reasons or any other life-related problems, things would have been less severe and we could have discussed it.

Why did you choose Qatrun?

I did because Traghin people are not on good terms with the people in Qatrun. Therefore, it would be difficult for my parents to follow us here. However, this remains a relative, temporary and unguaranteed matter on the long run considering that my parents have already threatened to kill me and my husband. That encouraged us to travel to Central Africa.

How had the marriage arrangements been organized?

We got married through a local sheikh in Qatrun on the fourth of January. The marriage contract was not documented according to the Libyan laws and we will have it legalized in Central Africa. I am now two months pregnant.

Are your parents still after you, having learned about your marriage?

No, it is not over yet. My parents still want to reach us and kill us. Had it not been difficult for them to reach Qatrun, they would have ruthlessly killed us. We understand their situation and hope that they will accept our marriage in a few years.

Do you know that life in Central Africa is very difficult? The education level there is significantly low and the country is one of the ten poorest in Africa. Do you realize what your decision to live there means?

Yes, I do. I have had enough knowledge about it, in addition to what Ahmad has told me. Nevertheless, I believe that God provides sustenance. I have great hope that I will contribute to improving the situation, at least in my husband’s village. I am aware that it is difficult in terms of environment, ideology and living standards, but I trust that we will make a change and improve our situation.

Have you devised a plan on how to start your work, taking into consideration that your husband left that country after he exhausted all means?

Yes, I have taken all my savings, and when I reach there, my envisioned projects will be clear.

Society’s reaction towards your marriage was absolute. Have any of your relatives or friends asked you about the motives behind this marriage?

Unfortunately, no one has contacted me, including my friends, except for one who was the one friend who helped us to escape to Qatrun. I do not want to mention her name for fear of her safety. However, I understand my friends’ attitude. My marriage was shocking and strange in our society. I assure you that this may be true even to Libyan men planning to get married to African women. I hope my marriage will break the barrier in this regards.

You said you were planning to travel to Central Africa. When are you traveling and how?

At present, I am changing the currency my husband and I have saved. We are awaiting the first car to take us to Africa via Chad. Cars do not travel there very often. Therefore, we have to wait.

What would have happened if you had not married Ahmad?

I would have killed myself.

Would you like to add anything?

I wish happiness for every woman in my country and the world. We do not know when and where happiness lies, but if we ever find it, we should not miss it. I love my husband Ahmed, and I feel more secure with him here, Central Africa or anywhere else in the world.