After their parents died suddenly in a car accident in Tripoli, 27-year-old Saed and his 24-year-old sister Rima discovered something about their family that threated to tear them apart. Their only chance of staying together, was to get married.
Can you tell us about your family?
After their parents died suddenly in a car accident in Tripoli, 27-year-old Saed and his 24-year-old sister Rima discovered something about their family that threated to tear them apart. Their only chance of staying together, was to get married.
Can you tell us about your family?
We were a family of four: our father, mother and the two of us. I have a computer engineering certificate, but I never worked in that field because my father needed my help in his mini market. Rima has a high school degree but did not want to enroll in college and stayed at home helping my mother. We were a family full of love and our parents loved us so much, but the disaster in 2009 changed our lives.
One Friday, my father and mother were out visiting a relative. On their way back on the coastal road, they had a horrible car accident which took their lives. It was a very painful day and a shocking experience for me and my sister Rima.
What happened after the accident?
Two months later, the family’s attorney came to our house to inform me that my father left all of his property, including the house and the minimarket for me and Rima.
My father had five brothers, but the eldest one used to be at odds with my father and we did not know why he used to hate me and Rima. When he knew that my father left all of his property to us, he felt angry and told me that we do not have the right to the inheritance of his brother.
I did not understand what he meant, but a week later, he came to our house and angrily demanded that we leave the house, as he and his brothers are the only ones entitled to it. We were shocked by his attitude. I took him outside the house and asked him for some explanations. He handed me a document proving that Rima and I are not siblings and that both of us come from two deceased families and our current family was only a foster family.
Did your foster family sponsor or adopt you? Was your kinship changed?
Yes, my father and mother who oversaw our upbringing attributed our parentage to them.They officially adopted us. That is why we could not know the truth all these years. However, on the document brought by my father’s brother, the names of our original families was written. My father is now dead and I cannot ask him why.
Were you informed about the entire story about your father’s brother? And how did you deal with Rima afterwards?
Yes, he told me the whole story. At first, I did not believe him, but when I asked his brothers and verified the document’s validity, I was hit by a state of hysteria. It is not easy, after all these years to discover that I have no family and that Rima was not my sister. I did not know what to do especially since I no longer can live with her in the same house, as Islamic teachings forbid it – the news started to spread in our area.
After carefully considering the issue with the advice of some friends and neighbors, I decided to tell Rima everything. She was shocked and had a nervous breakdown. I admitted her to a hospital where she stayed for nearly two weeks, after which time she was discharged with an acceptable condition, as I might say.
Rima cried bitterly and was concerned about our fate and what would happen to us. She stayed at a neighbor’s house and I stayed at a friend’s since my uncle took our house. I visited her form time to time.
What about your father’s other brothers? Did they do anything or provide any assistance to you? How was your life, you and Rima, afterwards?
We have not seen them since they took over the house. They have not even contacted us or inquired about our plans.
As for my life with Rima, as I told you, I lived with my friend in his house and she lived in the house of neighbors who stood with and helped us. However, I got fed up with this situation and started referring to lawyers and elders for consultancy. One night, I decided to marry Rima since I was told that it is religiously permissible. It was a difficult decision to take, but I needed to protect Rima as she could not face life alone after what happened and it was not acceptable for her to stay at the neighbor’s house.
What was Rima’s reaction to the marriage proposal?
On the next day, I spoke with her about the subject. I also talked to my neighbors and asked their opinion. They welcomed the proposal, but Rima was hesitant. Several days later and with the intervention of friends to persuade her, she agreed and we got married a month later.
Are you glad with that decision although you do not have a job or a home? How will you and Rima live and where? Have you thought of this?
Believe me, I did not think of anything except the fact that I wanted to protect Rima. I did not want her to suffer or become homeless. However, our good neighbors and friends collected money to buy us a house and a job was secured for me at some corporation. My friends also organized my wedding party. There are still good people in the world, thank God.
How did you accept the new situation?
At the beginning of the marriage, we treated each other as siblings, the way we used to be. But with time, we got used to living as man and wife. Thank God we live happily and respectfully.