Dear Awatef,

Zamalek winning the Egypt Cup 2014 last week was the main reason I slept deeply for more than eight hours. It was very convenient. I have not had such sound sleep for a very long time. I used to sleep five hours a day before the revolution and even during a few months afterwards.

Dear Awatef,

Zamalek winning the Egypt Cup 2014 last week was the main reason I slept deeply for more than eight hours. It was very convenient. I have not had such sound sleep for a very long time. I used to sleep five hours a day before the revolution and even during a few months afterwards.

I used to wake up quietly but quickly to watch the revolution’s news, the Military Council’s announcements, the rebels’ demands and the met demands on Thursdays. Those were the days. The revolution had its momentum. We were very spontaneous, but the Muslim Brotherhood was after its own interests.

After the battle of Mohamed Mahmud Street, my hours of sleep decreased to three hours and my concentration deteriorated. Waking up became more difficult and exhausting; I needed more time to get up. The mornings became useless and inexistent. I could do nothing in the mornings.

The last straw came with the prime ministry headquarter battle, which was a strange one indeed. Many of us were killed after the crowds left the squares following the end of the battle of Mohamed Mahmud, which was bitter, despite the glory achieved. The defeat during the prime ministry headquarters battle became an admission of a lack of endurance and resourcefulness.

The massacre of Port Said was beyond our comprehension. Waking up became even more difficult after that. The end approached with the Maspero demonstrations and Mohamed Mahmud. It was tragic to receive all these consecutive disastrous shocks without a real reaction from the revolution’s crowds in the streets.

Battles subsided, hope disappeared and exhaustion continued. I vainly went to many psychologists to find a solution for my sleep problem.

The horrible year

I hate 2012, since it was the most horrible and terrible year ever. It was a leap year. On January 31, my friend Hussam Hilali and I celebrated its end rather than the beginning of a new year. The last four years were difficult and very exhausting. That year, however, we experienced unprecedented events.

An Egyptian psychologist who returned to Cairo after Mubarak stepped down wrote an article advising the rebels to visit psychologists so that things would not accumulate in their memory, but they did not take it seriously.

He warned us against waging new battles with the authorities because this could claim more victims and injuries. The majority found the article interesting, but only interesting, and very few took the advice. In 2012, many started to think of the need to treatment what was damaged during those happy days. My hours of sleep did not increase, even after going to doctors. Some friends benefited from visits to psychologists and their sleep improved before the coming of 2013.

I started sleeping a bit more in early 2013, especially after the murderers were convicted— both civilians and Ministry of Interior (MoI) staff, of Al-Ahli Team fans in the Port Said massacre. That achieved the least level of justice.

Despite all the fascist attempts to obliterate the revolution’s identity, Mohamed Morsi’s rule was morally far better than Abdel Fattah al-Sisi’s. We were all confident of our ability to oust Morsi and the Brotherhood. We knew that the Brotherhood did not stand a chance in this country at that period. The revolution’s youth did not forgive the Brotherhood’s betrayal in the battle of Mohamed Mahmud under the Military Council.

Nevertheless, the Brotherhood kept the revolution’s enthusiasm going with each mistake it committed. It surrendered itself to the MoI and the military, which were manipulative. Therefore, my sleep was somewhat stable.

The clash was imminent and expected. In fact, it happened on Mohamed Mahmud’s anniversary, which was marked on time just before the battle of the Presidential Palace, which was the straw that ultimately broke the Brotherhood’s back.

The Brotherhood’s thuggery, using its members to protect the authorities and taking up arms against the rebels had a negative impact on the latter. After Morsi honored Mohamed Hussein Tantawi and flattered the MoI and Israel, the Brotherhood used its youth to defend Morsi against its dissidents. Despite all their crimes, Morsi and the Brotherhood were afraid of international reactions. We were in control of the streets and my sleep hours were stable. All the terrible things were far better from what it is now.